It's Me, Clarisse
by Johanna-002
Summary: Had Joseph not asked me to marry him at such a dramatic and trying time things may be different. But, if for once, I had thought of myself maybe nothing would have changed. Just a Drabble/One Shot type piece. Enjoy! Complete.


**Title: **It's Me, Clarisse

**Summary: **Had Joseph not asked me to marry him at such a dramatic and trying time things may be different. But, if for once, I had thought of myself maybe nothing would have changed.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Princess Diaries nor do I own Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement or any of its characters. They belong to Disney and to Meg Cabot. I do however own my writing, so do not steal Johanna002©.

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_A/N: So I've been gone for a while, living the adult life, and let me tell you, I am not pleased. I'd rather have a glass of chocolate milk and a box of crayons._

_In the spirit of Thanksgiving I present this to you all. May you all have a safe and joyous holiday!_

-01-

I can still hear him. I can hear him tell me he loves me, and I can still see him. I see him all of the time- before I fall asleep, in my dreams, seconds after I wake up- for fleeting yet beautiful moments, I see him.

It's maddening!

Or maybe… maybe it is I who is going mad. I blink my eyes rapidly and shake my head in an effort to rid the thought. No. There is no possible way that I could be going mad. Numbly I prepare for my day, going through the motions in such a daze I don't even know what I am doing.

My mind is just boggled with the endless amount of things I must see to before the Palace's Thanksgiving meal in two days. I can not wallow in possibilities and "What could have been".

In the months since Amelia's coronation she has prospered beautifully as Genovia's Queen. She's brought new beauty and light to a Country who adores her, she's even brought customs and traditions from her Mother Country.

In the past weeks as we have prepared for out Thanksgiving celebrations I find myself thinking about Joseph more and more. I know I may not have shown Joseph exactly how much he meant to me, and I may never have expressed how much I truly cared for him… which will forever be one of my greatest regrets. I often find myself wondering if it's truly too late to ever tell him how I feel.

I descend down the stairs and head towards Amelia's study and I feel a faint smile come across my lips as I watch her work busily next to Charlotte, confirming the sleeping arrangements of her family and Ms. Lilly who will be coming in on Genovia 1 this evening.

"Good morning, Grandma" I hear her greet me.

Next comes Charlotte's sweet voice, "Good morning your majesty,"

I smile back in return. "Good morning ladies," I approach Amelia's desk before occupying a chair next to Charlotte.

Amelia and I spent an hour of our morning chatting generously and eating breakfast. Just as we were finishing I hear my sweet grand daughter calling me.

"Grandma,"

I look up just in time to see her over sympathetic-pitying expression.

"Have you heard from Joe?" She asks me.

"Amelia- I"

"I know you miss him grandma, and I am sure he misses you too. I know I miss him."

I sat in silence and tried to digest what was being said. I have been trying to put it all behind me for the last five months, however, 30 years of partnership and commitment doesn't just go away in the blink of an eye.

Amelia's sweet voice pulls me out of the daze that I am in. "You should call him grandma," I hear her say. "Invite him over for thanksgiving," She holds out a piece of paper with a number on it. "He never left Genovia, Grandma. He too couldn't let go."

I tentatively take the paper with Joseph's number on it and leave the room.

I continue on about my day and try to forget about the small scrap of paper that I laid on my nightstand in my bedroom. The day falls quickly- seconds turn to minutes; minutes turn to hours.

That night I find myself sitting perched up in my bed, with the phone in my lap and the small scrap of paper with Joseph's number in my hand. I sight tiredly as I glance at the clock on the far wall. It was late. Maybe I shouldn't call him tonight.

Would there ever be a _right _time to call him.

With a new found set of strength and courage I didn't even know I possessed I dialed his number and waited patiently for the ringing, though the sound had my stomach knotted so tightly I felt I was going to be sick and seriously considered hanging up the phone immediately.

All sense of direction and coherency left when his voice finally transmitted over the receiver. My movements ceased and my eyes closed as the old memories flooded forth.

"Joseph," My voice was soft and shy, skeptical even. I didn't recognize it myself. "It's me, Clarisse,"


End file.
